Dario the Apprentice here again, and I have received great news from the stars: They continue to burn! As the weather heats up, it’s important to stay cool.
(Not like the stars. If they cool down, it’s not good.)
Taurus (April 20-May 20) You can’t help waking up grumpy some days, Taurus. Just remember: That bad driver had their own problems, and they didn’t come as close to hitting you as it looked like in the moment. Like all those other cars, just let the grumpiness pass you by.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) For you, Gemini, spring can be full of indecisiveness. You already miss winter but you are also looking forward to summer. Best thing for you to do is realize that you need to live in the now, and enjoy the days when it rains in the morning and heats up in the afternoon.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) Cancer, your time is coming, but don’t rush it. Wait for it… (wait for it)…. And when the moment comes, you’ll see it. Pounce on it and own it.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) What’s up, Leo? 2023 is doing you right so far, isn’t it? Yeah, I knew it would. You know what that means? Time to give back. It could be helping a friend or supporting a charity. You won’t even have to dig deep (but if you do, you’ll feel even better about it).
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) No one saw that thing you did, Virgo, but I know it’s eating you up. If you can make it right, do so. If you feel that it is too late, find another way to make amends with the universe. You’ll thank yourself later for forgiving yourself now.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Hey, Libra, whatcha doing? Looking ahead to another unpredictable spring and a hot hot hot summer, aren’t you? Get your reusable mug, park your SUV, and take a hike. I know you brought a jacket and you are wearing shorts. You’re prepared for anything (...or so you think).
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) It’s rough out there, Scorpio. We’re headed into the time of year when people think you’re weird for wearing black all the time. It could be 60 degrees or 102 degrees, but there you are in your black metal band T-shirt, two middle fingers up to the rest of the world. Guess what? The rest of the world thinks you’re cute.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) End of the year spelling bee time, Sagittarius. It could be you or your kids, or even just your boss asking you to spell things for them. And they always start with ‘Sagittarius’ — as if you haven’t spent your whole life knowing the letters in your sign. Accept your superiority but don’t gloat in it.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Spring isn’t ready for you, Capricorn. How many new flowers have you planted already? Mowed your lawn a couple times by now, too. Backyard garden beds are ready and you are thinking about tomato and pepper varieties because we all know you secretly like a little spice. Growing your own veggies makes the sauce that much better.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Don’t worry, Aquarius. Capricorn already has plans to share the backyard garden bounty with you. You might have to do some weeding and maybe take a turn mowing the lawn. But when those tomatoes are ripe, you’ll get some good ones.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) The river is calling, Pisces. Is this the year you try stand-up paddle boarding or hit the coast to parasail? Whatever it is, please, remember your sunscreen. Slather that goop on and don’t forget your neck and the backs of your ears.
Aries (March 21-April 19) How’s your spring been so far, Aries? You good? I know you have that one thing going on, but I also know that you’ll get through it. Keep your head up. You've got this.