Narrated by Morrigan Crowe
Here are some fall horoscopes from our friends at The Comet!
Check them out at https://www.radarstationart.com
Autumn is rolling in and that means it's candle season! Here are your favorite candle scents by sign:
Aries — Gasoline scented for the little arsonist in you. Because you love the smell of your life burning down around you.
Taurus — We don’t know. You take the labels off because you like the idea of a signature scent in your mud room. We suspect carrot cake.
Gemini — To paraphrase comedian Mitch Hedberg: “Cinnamon roll-scented, so your roommates wake up with false hopes.”
Cancer — Ocean, Rain, or some other water bullshit. They all smell like a funeral home and that’s why no one visits you anymore.
Leo — You actually dropped $150 on the trendy Tom Ford Tobacco and Vanille candle. Then someone discovered there’s a $5 Febreze spray that smells exactly like it. Still, yay for having money to blow!
Virgo — Birthday Cake. Because you're the only guest you invited to your b-day.
Libra — Vanilla. Someone’s gotta be the basic bitch. And bitch, that’s basically you.
Scorpio — Wax-play candles. (You know, for sexy time.) Scented, Unscented, who cares as long as there's consent!
Sagittarius — One of those novelty candles with a stupid name like: “Oops, I burnt the cookies.” Smells like roasted marshmallows and commitment issues.
Capricorn — Something from the dollar store. And it smells like Strawberry Shortcake. The plastic toy from the ‘80s, not the dessert.
Aquarius — Patchouli. And you probably bought it from a woman named Moonbeam who makes her own deodorant.
Pisces — Ethically Sourced. That’s not the scent, but that’s all you needed to read. You bought three.
Check out The Comet at https://www.radarstationart.com
