^{Photo by Florian van Duyn on Unsplash}

As we go even deeper into the darker months of the year, it is a perfect time to reflect on what parts of ourselves need to come forward. Looking into what you have repressed over the years can be powerful, enlightening, and sometimes terrifying. We have to look at how holding back has not only done us a disservice but how it may even have robbed others of certain elements of that part of you, as well. This is a good time to look deeper into yourself, let that healing begin, and bring it in a constructive way to heal the community, too.

So close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and ask yourself to be drawn to a number (one, two, or three) or an image. Read the message associated with the number or image you felt drawn to. If you feel pulled to more than one, that is perfectly okay. You can also choose to reflect on all of the messages, if you wish. Color any or all of the images as you reflect. As always, this is just a starting point. Continue journaling, meditating, learning, and expressing as the month progresses.

Card One

The Knight of Pentacles is all about the slow and steady progression of goals — usually our tangible ones, such as finances and career. This time, it comes to us in the reversed position, indicating a stoppage, blockage, and tangly knot regarding the aspects of our life ruled by finances. Things slowing down or not going according to plan can have an interesting impact on you if you still have some wounds to heal. It can shift our entire perspective on what it means to succeed, our view of ourselves when we don’t meet our expectations, as well as our view of others at times.

This is a good time to dig deeper into your relationship with success, setbacks you experience, and anything that has made you feel like a failure in the past. This can be challenging even if you have done this kind of self-reflection before; we often don’t realize when we are pushing ourselves because of the old things we were taught. Give yourself a break, but also figure out where all of this is coming from. Observe how it may even impact your relationships with other individuals as well as your community. You will likely see that there are many ways that this success game is unfair to begin with.

Card Two

The Five of Swords is a card of conflict, specifically the need to win at all costs. This can be quite a cycle, for if you are surrounded by those who will do whatever they can to ‘win’ — despite what it costs their relationships and others around them — it can become a survival tactic for you, as well. The good news is that this card is in the reversed position. The Five of Swords is one of the handful of cards that when it is reversed, I see it as a positive change; in this dynamic, it is inviting a change in self-perspective for your healing.

If you have this card, you may need to examine your relationship with conflict and challenges. Were there times you gave too much to connections that were never committed to seeing your side? Did experiencing that often lead you to also feel the defensive walls rise when faced with something uncomfortable? Did it cause you to want to ‘win’ the sense of safety back at any cost? This is a good time to heal your wounds surrounding those who spoke over you, and process how that impacted you. With this card reversed, your efforts at understanding others from a more balanced and fair position will be beneficial in the long run. Check out alternative points of view, expand your perspective, and grow. You likely have been trying to work hard on these qualities already; now you’re just leaning more into it.

Card Three

The Queen of Swords is a tough archetype. They are sharp-witted, analytical, fierce with their words, and process a lot in a short amount of time. Sometimes those who embody this figure may hear from others that they come off as blunt, or that they need to lighten up. You were likely a natural fighter spirit who may have had to make themselves smaller over time to ‘fit in’ better. You were always meant to be a sharply beautiful soul; now is a good time to get acquainted with that side of you.

If you got this card, you have spent too long being silent, and healing this has likely already cost you some connections lately. This card appeared in the upright position, indicating you are already on the road to speaking up, taking action, and letting yourself be free of shame for doing what you know is right. Through this process, you may need to grieve what you lost in the moments you couldn’t speak up for yourself, and to grieve your regrets. Reflect on where and when you started to push this side of you away and work on healing it.

Jae Melland is a tarot, palm, and rune reader serving the Tri-Cities. You can schedule a reading with Jae by visiting seidrwhispers.com, or going to her walk-in readings at Luna Wellness Center in Pasco. Instagram: @seidr_whispers