Photo by Ganapathy Kumar
I want to share a spiritual experience that changed my life.
A creeping crud got a hold on me a few weeks ago. It started with a sore throat and moved into a vicious cough. I also experienced the added benefit of extreme fatigue. Oh, joy. The problem is, where I come from, one’s value is derived from doing, and I was totally unable to do anything! My life was reduced to just feeling miserable, waiting to get better.
And so, as we all do when we can’t do, I mostly just looked at stuff on my phone. Some of the stuff was stupid, but some was very interesting, including a video from defense attorney Jefferson Harris. I watch his videos because he shares wonderful, calm responses for when we feel criticized or are embroiled in conflict, which are helpful to me as a conflict-averse person. In this particular video, he defined ‘mercy’ as withholding from someone what they deserve and ‘grace’ as giving someone something they don’t deserve. In other words, when we withhold judgment, hatred, and criticism even when someone truly deserves it, we are offering mercy. We give someone grace when we give them kindness, compassion, or gentleness even when they don’t deserve that kind of treatment, but more likely deserve a swift kick in the pants!
A week later, I was still unwell and fatigued, and someone told me they were going to do something for me and they didn’t. The disappointment hit hard. I felt let down, abandoned, and unappreciated. I started to cry. I recounted to myself all the times I’d gone out of my way for them. I recited to myself why I really needed help, and it’s so hard for me to ask for help in the first place, and how let down I felt — all those stories we tell ourselves to flesh out the suffering.
All of a sudden, I heard a voice. It said, “They’ve got a lot going on right now.” In an instant, I understood the truth of that, and felt grace washing through me. The compassion for them that may not have been deserved flowed effortlessly through me. I felt mercy flow through me, and all dark thoughts of criticism and judgment vanished. The transformation was complete. I remembered Jefferson Harris’ words.
And then something even more powerful happened! I felt something new wash through me — something beautiful. I visualized it as the full moon — a silver-white light shining in through the top of my head and pouring into my whole being. It was peace like I’d never known before. Pure. Bright. Clear.
My tears stopped. My being radiated with this peaceful glow, and it felt wonderful.
I’ve spent years working on forgiveness and attempting to let go of past hurts, and all the reasoning, all the cerebral attempts at rationalizing what had been done (or what I had done) had gotten me nowhere. This new thing was effortless. It profoundly and instantly set me free.
I’d like to say this feeling stayed with me forever, setting me free from all conflict or woundedness; but alas, not feeling well and working to redefine my self-worth left me a bit cranky. However, I effortlessly reclaim this peace any time I take a moment to receive it.
I know now that it comes from something greater than myself, a Higher Source. The mercy and grace flowing through me and into each situation of conflict doesn’t generate within me. God knows I’ve tried!
Now, if you wish to also experience freedom from the suffering that comes from another’s betrayal, criticism, or abandonment, begin by noticing the story you have created around an event: They did this unfair thing. They chose to hurt me. They are mean. They are hateful.
After you have sat with the story for a while, take a deep belly breath in for count of five, hold it for a count of five, and release it slowly for a count of eight. While you repeat this breath cycle, open your awareness, and hear the Voice say to you: “They have a lot going on.” Feel the truth of this, and allow the Voice within your expanded awareness to take you out of the story.
Next, sense the bright, silvery moon glow flowing from Higher Source into your being — sense it flowing through you to the other person, in the form of mercy and grace. Not because they deserve it, but because it is being freely given to you now. Feel your hurt dissipate. Sense the bright, silvery moon glow settle in your body, and feel the peace take hold. You are free.
You can also practice this method for self-judgment, for all the times we say unkind things to ourselves. Hear the Voice say, “You had a lot going on.” Feel mercy and grace flow in and throughout you. Sense the bright, silvery moonglow flow in and remain. Receive peace. You are free.
Repeat as needed. Then rest, and be at peace.
Janice Lynch is a psychic who has visions, sees angels, and talks to dead people. She is also a dedicated Bible student and believer in Jesus. She and her husband, Phil, created The Divine Fellowship church where it’s safe to ask questions. We don’t care what you believe, but that you believe and we are here to help you on your spiritual journey.
