Action steps for parents: What can you do when your child is the victim of racism at school?

When it comes to children facing racism in the classroom, parents must take proactive steps. They should initiate open and honest discussions, even if they are uncomfortable. Parents need to prepare their children, especially teens, and be advocates for them. 

Racist incidents should never be ignored; parents should contact the school, ask questions, and persist until the problem is resolved. Crucially, parents must affirm their child's identity, teach stories of resilience, and validate their feelings. They should recognize that addressing racism requires a collective community effort.

I’m going to talk directly to parents from the perspective of someone who recently finished high school.

Start talking about it. 

Engage in a meaningful dialogue with your adolescent by creating a safe space for open and sincere communication. When an incident happens at school, allow them to express their feelings freely, and do your best to not be judgemental. Delve into discussions surrounding racial diversity, prejudice, discrimination, and systemic oppression, emphasizing the importance of understanding what constitutes appropriate and inappropriate behavior in the context of race relations. 

If you feel uncertain about your expertise on racial issues, it is beneficial to acknowledge this to your teen and suggest embarking on a journey of learning together. Numerous resources — like the book Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds; any of Ibram X. Kendi’s books; and the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture's online resource Talking About Race — can serve as valuable tools to facilitate these conversations. You can also try listening to episode 18 of the podcast My American Meltingpot: “How to Talk to Your Kids About Race” for some ideas.

Don’t be afraid to have uncomfortable conversations. Engaging in discussions about race can be uncomfortable and complex, encompassing economic and social dimensions. But it’s so important! Talking about race will help your teenager develop into a well-informed and culturally aware adult. You don’t have to be an expert on race, but you do have more lived experience than they do. It is crucial to approach it with honesty and transparency. Talk about current events and how race is involved. Authentic conversations are essential. 

Work with the school. 

Educators can collaborate with you. Parents and educators working together are better equipped to navigate difficult situations, and they can exchange valuable strategies and best practices with each other. Adolescents are in the process of establishing their identities, acquiring decision-making skills, managing their emotions, and fostering deeper connections within their communities. While their developing brains are ideally suited for these challenges, the systems designed to support them often fall short. It is imperative for adults to take action in order to reform discriminatory systems, ensuring that every young person receives the necessary support to explore their interests, cultivate their passions, and set meaningful goals that will ultimately shape their futures. 

After a racist incident, fill out an incident report with the school, if that option is available. The school has a fundamental obligation to foster a safe environment for all students, which includes recognizing and addressing the implications of racism within the school community, as well as tackling instances of discrimination and bias as they arise. You may reach out to school administrators via phone or email to discuss the incident in greater detail and to inquire about the process for obtaining and submitting an incident report. 

If you end up having an in-person meeting, prepare your child. It is important to develop a strategy that ensures both you and your teenager feel supported, while also allowing your teen the opportunity to articulate their feelings and experiences during the meeting.

Ideally, the school will want to work with you. Inquire about the availability of culturally responsive or antiracist training for students (as well as administrators, teachers, and all other staff members). 

Don’t give up. 

If you encounter resistance from educators or school officials after raising concerns about an incident, it is important to remain persistent. There are alternative avenues you can pursue. Parents and students who struggle to have their voices heard regarding matters of race and racism can seek assistance from community resources and district programs. 

Many school districts have established family or community engagement groups, as well as equity and inclusion officers, who are specifically trained to act as intermediaries when parents require additional support in communicating with teachers and administrators about the difficulties their child is experiencing at school. In the event that your district lacks such resources, consider reaching out to local parent advocacy organizations that are dedicated to supporting and promoting the safety and well-being of students of color.

Keep the conversation going.

Engaging in discussions about race should be a continuous dialogue, not a singular event that is quickly forgotten. Regularly addressing the concept of race, along with its historical implications of empowerment and oppression, is essential (and that goes for white families, too). Incorporating discussions about historical and contemporary racism can help teenagers, equipping them with the tools to recognize and challenge white supremacy and racism when they encounter it.

Teach stories of resilience. 

Educate Black children about their heritage of resilience, and highlight the ways that their lineage has endured centuries of abhorrent acts, while achieving remarkable accomplishments. This legacy includes significant inventions, as well as the creation of music and dance styles. It is crucial for Black children to understand that they descend from a people who have consistently persevered. Instill in them the belief that, despite facing racism, they will thrive. I like to repeat the mantra “I’m Gonna Push Through” from Jasmyn Wright’s book.

In nurturing your child's ability to navigate the complexities of the world, make sure you are teaching them to foster resilience, especially when it comes to racism and discrimination. Resilience is the cornerstone of healthy emotional and psychological development. Celebrate their identity and instill a sense of pride in their Black heritage. And make sure that they have a secure environment where they can express vulnerability and seek support when a racist incident occurs, or when the weight of their experiences becomes overwhelming.

Anyla McDonald aspires to become a poet, short story writer, and essayist speaking about racism against Black people, current world problems, and hot topics. When she writes, she does it with purpose and passion. She feels destined to touch others with her words, and wants to be known as someone who takes a stand and impacts lives with her writing.

Anyla offers consulting services to Black student unions, student governments, school boards, superintendents, parents, and teachers facing social challenges within their institutions. She assists them in developing and implementing policies and activities aimed at preventing discrimination.

Anyla is a columnist for Tumbleweird and an intern at Taylored Living Magazine.