September 2021 Horoscopes

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)

Bring back playing baseball in dresses, Virgo!

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23)

“In every age ‘the good old days’ were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every age has consisted of crises that seemed intolerable to the people who lived through them,” wrote American journalist Brooks Atkinson all the way back in 1951. The last year has been a series of crises and shenanigans, and while it might feel like things will never return to normal, consider that ‘normal’ wasn’t that great to begin with, and take comfort in the idea that the coming world might be better, Libra.

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)

Whoa, Scorpio. Do you ever slow down, man? We are not complaining. Your relentless enthusiasm for new and different projects has carried you far in life already, and will continue to do so. Just remember to go easy on yourself when things go awry, as they are occasionally wont to do in our lives.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21)

A favorite saying of English poet W.H. Auden was, “We are all here on Earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.” If you haven’t done something to help others recently, consider taking a moment to do it now! Even something small, Sagittarius, like bringing your neighbor’s trash cans up the drive. You’ll feel better.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

If this image isn’t enough to entice you into starting a garden, we don’t know what will be. Spend more time with plants, Capricorn.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

We hope that you fared okay through the last month, Aquarius. Orson Welles added this line to Henry Jaglom’s script for Someone to Love shortly before his death: “We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” Make sure to let your loved ones know what they mean to you, and try to be patient with them.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

René Descartes once pointed out that “it is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.” This may be truer now than ever before, as we are deluged with misinformation, disinformation, and ill-bred skepticism of facts and experts. Keep those critical thinking skills sharp, Pisces.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Be careful about your liver, Aries.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

In 1750, the English poet Samuel Johnson wrote, “It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.” Perhaps no one knows this better than you, Taurus. It is admirable to retain trust in people after being failed badly by a few of them.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

Noël Coward once wrote, “I believe we should all behave quite differently if we lived in a warm, sunny climate all the time.” Noël Coward was English, so he was probably just tired of the rain, and not imagining the 110 degree heat of the summer we just suffered through. It’s nice to know that even famous playwrights can be wrong. Anyway, be grateful for the cooler weather and go outside! Good things await you out there.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Grief moves in mysterious ways, Leo. Allow yourself to feel it when necessary. Though you may be tempted to make radical life changes as you process feelings around your recent loss, recall that it’s only incremental change that really sticks. Feel your feelings, and make changes only when you are ready. Oh, and consider getting a ferret.

Dinah Takitov is mildly nervous around sloths.
Collage by Dinah Takitov. Photos are from the author’s personal collection.